Hallowed Cain "Penetrating Interview"

The following interview was held on March 13th, 2003 by The Penetrator. Questions written by Zombie Girl.

(Dana, Pat, Phil, Brian Maiden and Conga-Man were all present during this interview.)

Penetrator: Who are your influences musically?

Dana: I would go with the Heavy Metal, Hard Rock influences which usually, for me, always means the Classic Four Horsemen: Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Metallica and Megadeth...

Brian Maiden: I would replace Megadeth with Ozzy Osborne.

Dana: ...But, the Four Horsemen have led me to other artists.

Penetrator: What about you Phil?

Phil: yes.

Penetrator: Phil with the mighty "yes". Pat, feel free...

Pat: I would say my biggest influences were Primus and Dana. I wouldn't even be playing right now if it weren't for Dana.

Penetrator: When you're not playing music, what do you like to do?

Dana: I like collecting odd things, such as insulation and doors.

Penetrator: Very nice. Phil what do you like to do?

Phil: Oh, I don't know.

Dana: Phil is quite an accomplished pianist.

Phil: That's right. My penis is accomplished.

Dana: Phil has a rather large notebook of songs that he knows on piano.

Penetrator: Does Brian Maiden frighten you?

Brian Maiden: Well, if he does, they can't answer that right now.

Dana: Brian Maiden's obsession is quite inspiring, I feel.

Pat: Yes, I agree. I think he's frightening to those who don't understand him, but I think we're all secure in the fact that we're not going to be attacked. I don't think everybody's frightened by him, just a select few...you know, he gets a funny look here and there.

Penetrator: I sometimes back away, myself, when he's getting into high gear.

Conga-Man: Yeah, one time he hit my brother in the balls (by accident of course).

Penetrator: What was the best concert you've ever been to?

Dana: Maybe, the last Ozzfest...

Penetrator: Which was what year?

Brian Maiden: 2002.

Dana: Ozzfest 2002.

Penetrator: What about you Phil, you've been to quite a bit.

Phil: Oh hell, I don't know.

Dana: Tool...or was it Korn. What was the one that you broke your fingers?

Pat: That was Korn wasn't it?

Phil: Yeah.

Dana: No, no, no the straw in the eye! Dio!

Penetrator: A straw in your eye at a Dio concert?

Phil: Yeah, I forgot I had a straw in my cup and I went to drink from it, the straw poked me in the eye. The girl next to me thought I got stabbed.

Penetrator: If no weapons were allowed, who would win in a fight? Chewbacca or Lt. Warf?

Dana: I really don't know much about Chewbacca.

Pat: I would say Chewbacca, 'cause they've been known to rip the arms off of droids.

Dana: I just don't know about their past warrior experiences...

Pat: They live in the forest and swing from tree to tree...

Dana: I've never heard any of that.

Brian Maiden: Yeah, they're bigger and physically stronger than the Klingons.

Pat: What do you say Phil?

Phil: Chewbacca.

Dana: I'm going with Warf, because he's a trained warrior.

Pat: I don't know, I think you're wrong.

Conga-Man: This is where the band breaks-up.

Penetrator: What Hallowed Cain songs do you enjoy playing the most?

Pat: The ones that I know.

Dana: I would say all the acoustic songs, and Corn Muffin.

Pat: I agree, Corn Muffin is very fun. Mullet Lady is very fun too.

Penetrator: Phil, what do you like playing?

Phil: Um, the acoustic songs, and...that's it.

Penetrator: Okay, if you could re-make a song, not just cover it, but actually record it onto an album, what song would you pick?

Pat: If it's a song we already play, I would have to say Paint it Black. I think the drum beat Phil does on that song is bad-ass!

Dana: I would actually have to give that some thought. Maybe, 'Keep on Lovin' You' by REO Speedwagon. I've always been quite fond of 'Don't Stop Believing' by Journey.

Penetrator: Okay, here's a...

Dana: This is the longest job interview ever.

Penetrator: What made you turn to music?

Phil: New Mexican drugs.

Pat: I think I always wanted to perform in some way, and being an actor or model just wasn't my thing.

Penetrator: What equipment do you play on?

Pat: Mesa Boogie Bass 400+, and Spector 5-String.

Dana: Mesa Boogie-with a Digitec, Talkbox, Hum Eliminator, Digital Delay, Morley Wah-Wah Pedal and a Digitec Wammy.

Penetrator: Phil?

Phil: Drums.

Pat: An old-ass Ludwig.

Dana: From 1979.

Brian Maiden: Size 4B drumsticks with nylon tips.

Dana: With cargo tape holding the cymbals on.

Penetrator: If you could work with ANY artist or producer, who would it be?

Pat: Tom Waits.

Dana: I would say either Devo, or Peter Gabriel.

Penetrator: Who do you want to work with Phil?

Phil: Pantry.

Penetrator: If you were trapped in a Sensory Deprivation Chamber with only three albums to help maintain some shred of sanity, what would they be?

Pat: Primus 'Pork Soda', System of a Down the first album, and Tom Waits 'Rain Dogs'.

Dana: 'Frampton Comes Alive', Bee Gee's Greatest Hits, and any Disco Compilation.

Phil: Slayer 'Reign in Blood', Pink Floyd 'Wish You Were Here', Pantera 'Vulgar Display of Power'.

Penetrator: Ahhhhh, that's pretty much it.